Negative Calorie Foods

Asparagus
Broccoli
Cabbage
Carrots
Cauliflower
Celery
Cucumber
Fennel
Leek
Lettuce
Peppers
Tomato

Negative Calorie Fruit
Blackberry
Blackcurrant
Mandarin orange
Melon Cantaloupe
Peaches
Plums
Raspberry
Rhubarb
Strawberry
Grapefruit
Honeydew Melon
Tangerine

Appetite Suppressing Foods

There has been a lot of controversy in the news over natural appetite suppressants. Hoodia has been in the news. It has been painted with an evil brush, but what most people do not understand is that it has been eaten as a part of people’s diet for centuries. It is part of a naturally growing cactus that just happens to have the ability to suppress the appetite.

This made me wonder whether other foods have any appetite suppressant qualities. The first thing I learned was that most people are not hungry when they ‘feel’ hungry – they are thirsty. Today’s diet has cross wired our brains messages. Most people feel the same whether they are hungry or thirsty. Next time you want to reach for a snack, pick up a bottle of water first.

If water doesn’t do the trick, then drink vegetable broth. The broth is better than juice. The juice may have starches added to make the drink thicker, smoother, or improve the color. Broth is primarily water and does are not ad calories.

Green foods will suppress the appetite. Any green or leafy vegetable will work. The simplest ‘food’ is apples. It works for people who are feeding their emotions, and it also curbs the appetite. Eat about 30 minutes before dinner and you’ll eat less food.

Another appetite suppressant food is a pickle. Trader Joe’s pickles have the benefit of having no added food coloring. But, read the ingredients. Some pickles are more ‘candied vegies’ than pickles. They have no dietary benefits.

If you must pop pills, then take fiber pills. Drink plenty of water with them. Without water they can cause digestive problems. Not only will they prime the digestive system so weight loss is easier, but the right ones will make the stomach feel full.

Who Started the 50% Divorce Rate Myth?

No, not 50%

50% of all marriages end in divorce. 10% of them divorce twice. But, many divorced people are divorced more than 3 times.

Now, this number is an 'urban legend.' The rate of divorce has NEVER been 50%

The highest rate of divorce is the USA was 44% (including those who divorce mulitple times) The marriage rate in 2005 was 7.5 (per 1,000), down from 7.8 the previous year. This is FAR lower than 50% or even the 44% that some statistics claim. Shockingly, only 10% of the US population is currently divorced.


Divorce in Canada is actually on the decline. Currently, only 37% of divorces are expected to end before they reach their 30th anniversary.


US Per capita divorce rates 1990-2002:
1991, 0.47%
1992, 0.48%
1993, 0.46%
1994, 0.46%
1995, 0.46%
1995, 0.43%
1997, 0.43%,
1998, 0.42%,
1999, 0.41%,
2000, 0.41%,
2001, 0.40%,
2002, 0.38%
(Mostly from NCHS, some from Census Bureau's Statistical Abstract of the U.S.,

That is a lot less than 50% - interestingly, the % is dropping.

So, where does the urban myth start? It starts from quotes like the following (the important thing to understand is the true definition of the word PROJECTION - it is a guess - it is not fact):

"About 50% of first marriages for men under age 45 may end in divorce, and between 44 and 52% of women's first marriages may end in divorce for these age groups. The likelihood of a divorce is lowest for men and women age 60, for whom 36 % of men and 32 percent of women may divorce from their first marriage by the end of their lives. A
similar statistical exercise was performed in 1975 using marital history data from the Current Population Survey
(CPS). Projections based on those data implied that about one-third of married persons who were 25 to 35 years old in 1975 would end their first marriage in divorce.

"This cohort of people, who in 1996 were about 45 to 55 years old, had already exceeded these projections as about 40% of men and women in these ages had divorced from their first marriage. Current projections now indicate that the proportion could be as high as 50% for persons now in their early forties."

Rose M. Kreider and Jason M. Fields, "Number, Timing, and Duration of Marriages and Divorces: 1996", U.S. Census Bureau Current Population Reports, February 2002, p. 18.

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It is also important to understand the source the information comes from.

Southern Baptist Convention's Council on the Family said that for "...born-again Christian couples who marry...in the church after having received premarital counseling...and attend church regularly and pray daily together..." experience only 1 divorce out of nearly 39,000 marriages

Barna Research Group released the results of their poll about divorce on 1999-DEC-21

11% of the adult population is currently divorced.
25% of adults have had at least one divorce during their lifetime.
34% of adults with no church affiliation are divorced.

These numbers were found using a test group of 3500 people.

The State of our Unions 2005 annual report, which analyzes Census and other data, is issued by the National Marriage Project at New Jersey's Rutgers University.

The U.S. divorce rate is 17.7 per 1,000 married women, down 22.6 in 1980. The marriage rate is on a steady decline: a 50% drop since 1970 from 76.5 per 1,000 unmarried women to 39.9, says the report, whose calculations are based on an internationally used measurement.

The USA has the lowest percentage among Western nations of children who grow up with both biological parents, 63%, the report says. (That means that only 37% are in single parent homes)

You Cannot Be Healthy in an Unhealthy Relationship

Most of us who've survived a first marriage become familiar with the term sooner or later. Some of us make sure we don't repeat the pattern. Others leave one bad relationship and land in another.

The problem stems from society's believe that people should get together because of passion and lust, not friendship and trust. This makes women vulnerable to predators. Our upbringing make us more susceptible.

Remember the 'love at first sight?' A classic 'red flag' for a codependent predator.

Remember the romance stories where a couple's eyes meet across a room? Or, worse yet, the man who showed no affection but the woman fawned over him because he was 'so' strong and dominant.

More on codependency

Women become trapped because the man really does love them, in a perverted way. In truth, he needs them to fulfill his abusive/controlling ideals of a relationship. The woman sees this as love. This traps her. She sees her strong man as having a weakness that he can't control. He appears to be remorseful that he hurts her. She doesn't know how to handle the situation.

I've seen women become pregnant thinking this will make him happy. Instead it gives him more control over her.

In classic cases he always moves them into rural areas where they are isolated, cannot escape, cannot get help.

I've even talked with women where were planning plastic surgery to please their codependent men.

What are the symptoms?

• controlling behavior patterns



• distrust and blaming the person for lying and sneaking around



• perfectionism as in the dominant person is perfect and the submissive person is incompetent and totally unable to do anything right



• avoidance of feelings - all affection is one way.



• intimacy problems - may even include vaginal ejaculation disorder



• care-taking behavior, possessive, controls the money, controls daily routines, controls friends, controls leaving the house



• hyper-vigilance (a heightened awareness for potential threat/danger)



• physical illness related to stress



• chemical dependency



• unexplained illness



• feeling sick to your stomach when it is time for the dominant person to arrive home.

How to Tell if you are in a codependent relationship:

• Don’t rock the boat. It’s not okay to talk about problems. The family pretends things do not happen. We don't talk about the past, even if the past was the day before, the person who talks betrays the family and ruins things.



• Feelings should not be expressed openly; keep feelings to yourself, the dominant person doesn't great the family. They walk in the home environment and then check to make sure everything has been done right - or they totally ignore the family.



• Communication is indirect; one person acts as messenger between two others, known in therapy as triangulation; One person makes all the rules; One person makes decisions like when it is time to get pregnant, when it is time to move, if the other person can take courses, join a group, etc.,



• Do as I say not as I do. Submissive people strong, good, right, perfect - The dominant breaks all the rules but acts like everyone else is too stupid to know what they are doing



• Make us proud beyond realistic expectations



• Don’t be selfish



• Sexual satisfaction is focused on the dominant. The submissive must enjoy it and act pleased, despite their physical reaction. This can lead to further dysfunctions.



• It’s not okay to play or be playful. If someone tries to be happy or play, the dominant might play too, but only to show the rest of the family that play leads to being hurt or punished.
  



• More signs of codependency

Can you fix him? Can he heal? I once thought so, but I've seen so many men in theraphy that failed and women who gave them 1, 2, 5 years more...and only seen it work once. The one time it worked codependancy wasn't a problem, it was post traumatic syndrom.

Importance of Reading Symptoms Properly

The body has one method of telling us that something is wrong – it creates symptoms. In many cases, we take medicines that stop our bodies from giving us the message that something is wrong, or cleaning out the offending virus or toxin.

A runny nose, itching skin, sensitivity, weak nails can all signal toxins and a digestive symptom breakdown that can lead to disease.

Weight gain, acne and thinning hair, which are all common symptoms of Glucose allergies. Women may suffer from lack of libido, a deep voice, low mood - Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome PCOS which can be controlled by reducing Glucose in our food.
Chewing ice, or a craving for ice, may signal the need for calcium.

Binging may signal the onset of Type 2 Diabetes.

The point is, you should pay attention to things that change in your body and health. They could be symptoms that something is wrong with your system. Pay attention. Don’t listen to people who say ‘don’t worry.’ Instead, research the symptoms and try to find what is the problem.

Why Health Food Stores Can Be Bad

I went into a health food store a few years ago with the objective of testing the ‘specially trained technitain.’ I asked what medical ingredients were in willow bark. I was assured that their willow bard was 100% organic and there was no medical chemicals added.

I took another step and asked if there were any medical ‘properties’ and was again assured that there are not. I finally asked why willow was good for my allergies. They assured me it was because natural things interact naturally with other natural things to help them work better – I left feeling uneasy.

The fact is that most of our medicines contain these ‘natural’ elements that are a part of our herbs and natural plants. Each of the properties that heal are – indeed – medical in definition. They are medicinal ingredients.

When a health store misrepresents this, they down play the importance of making sure there is no reaction between the medical properties in natural products and the pills that you are currently taking. It amazes me that herbalists in stores can do the same job as a pharmacist, but do not need any training.

I am sorry, but I can walk into my garden and make a tea that will help heal. I can also walk out there and make one that will kill. There is no way to measure the number of people who have died because of an interaction between medicines and holistic medicine.

Herbs and nutritional supplements can cause health difficulties. I remember one of the most shocking instances I’ve ever seen. It was in a published book. The book said to take comphry internally which we all know causes liver disease and other internal problems.

If you want to take herbs and natural supplements then you need to contact a National Institute of Medical Herbalists (www.nimh.org.uk).

But, try a good diet first. Foods should always be the first line of defense. They can help symptoms, and even reverse the damage caused by disease.

Intro to Shift Work Disorder

The graveyard shift has been associated with everything from depression to cancer. Shift work disorder, applies to people who suffer insomnia and sleepiness from working nights. It has been blamed for ulcers and heart disease.

"It's not surprising," said Dr. Louis Ptacek, a UCSF neurologist studying sleep behaviors. "We evolved on a planet that is rotating every 24 hours. Our internal clock is more than just when we sleep and wake. It's related to cell division and it regulates our immune systems. When we battle our internal clock, that has complications."

15 million people, 15 percent Americans, work a night shift, according to the U.S. Department of Labor. Studies show that 10 - 20 percent of shift workers have trouble with insomnia and feeling sleepy on the job.

People who are sleep-deprived can succumb to "microsleeps," where they fall asleep for a few seconds and don't realize it, said Dr. Clete Kushida, director of the Stanford University Center for Human Sleep Research.

"Probably the most obvious problems with (night) shift work are cognitive functions, so people have difficulty focusing. They might have problems with irritability and mood fluctuations," Kushida said. "And then there is excessive sleepiness, which can lead to motor vehicle accidents and industrial accidents."

Last December, the International Agency for Research on Cancer, listed the graveyard shift as a "probable" cause of cancer. The agency's conclusion followed several studies that show high rates of cancer - breast cancer - among people working night shefts.

ScienceDaily (Mar. 18, 2008) — Chronic sleep disruption can cause heart and kidney disease, researchers at the Peter Munk Cardiac Centre of the Toronto General Hospital have discovered.

“Disrupted circadian rhythms have a devastating effect on the heart, kidney and possibly other organs,” says Dr. Michael Sole, Cardiologist at the University of Toronto. “This is the first study of its kind to demonstrate that sleep cycle disruption actually causes heart and kidney disease.”

“Shift workers and flight-crews might want to consider these findings when scheduling work time,” suggests Dr. Sole, adding that these workers could try to maintain a constant working schedule for one month or more, allowing the body to readjust its clock to external cues.

Detox Foods: Green Vegetables

Green Leafy Vegetables The healing ingredient is chlorophyll. This is nature’s household cleaner, removing environmental toxins that include heavy metals, pesticides, and air pollutants. It also protects the liver.

There are commercial chlorophyll products that you can buy, but I wouldn’t unless you like the taste of liquid grass. The problem arises when you can’t get fresh picked. It may be a better idea to buy top quality ‘flash frozen’ than week old greens that have been stuffed into a transport truck for several days and ‘sprayed’ to keep them looking fresh.

Head Lettuce has the least value of the green vegetables. The general rule is ‘the darker the better.’ But it is reported to help against yeast infections.

Spinach strengthens weak blood and reduces the severity of bleeding conditions. It includes a blood cleansing or detoxifying agent. It helps with constipation and urinary tract difficulties. Do not eat large amounts of spinach if you suffer from loose stools or urinary incontinence should.

Kale is good for lung congestion. The juice has been used to treat stomach ulcers. It is an exceptional source of iron and should be included in diets that reduce your red meat intake.

Greens offer protection against cancer, infections, heart and circulatory system diseases, bone and joint diseases and disorders associated with old age.

Several Greens such as Romaine lettuce, spinach, Swiss chard, collard greens, mustard greens and turnip greens all contain beta-carotene and

Watercress: One of the Top 10 Detox Foods

Watercress is high in beta-carotene, Vitamins A, B1 and B6, C, E and K. It also contains abundant Iodine, Iron, Calcium, Magnesium, Zinc and Quercetin. It can be eaten in salads, soups, and sandwiches. The peppery little green leaves have a diuretic (elevated the body urine rates) effect that helps move things through your system. And cress is rich in minerals too. Watercress is easy to eat, and one of the healthiest foods around.

Quercetin is a flavonoid which is shown to reduce inflammation and is natural anti-histamine. Watercress is good for people with breathing and lung problems including allergies and asthma. It is also reported to be good for cancer, heart conditions, eczema, weight loss, parasites, circulation, kidney problems and lack of energy. The British Journal of Cancer reports "when treated with a combination of Quercetin and ultrasound at 20 KHz for 1 minute duration, skin and prostate cancers show a 90% mortality within 48 hours with no visible mortality of normal cells".

The Watercress Alliance conducted a study from the University of Ulster. They found that watercress contains compounds that help prevent damage to the DNA in white blood cells, an important trigger in the development of cancer.

Trouble in Your Family?

Problem: Someone in my family is turning everyone against me.


My Answer:
There is nothing you can do. This person is manipulative, and everyone in the family knows it. I was once a part of a family like this. The funny thing is, my ex married a woman 'exactly' like they said I was - and now he is stuck. No divorce this time without her parents taking him for everything.

The thing is, you have an enemy in the house. No one wants to hear the arguments because that will end the game.

Just stay away from them for a while. It took me 3 years. Tell them in writing, with you and your husband's signature, that you will be back when you can visit without being yelled at, or hearing any gossip from the sister.

The most important. You must never talk to this woman, not on the phone, not at family gatherings not ever. The family must know that under no circumstances will you be alone with her - talk to her - be in the same room with her. This way, when she says you did something/said something/ etc...they know she is lying.

Now, here is how you do it. You come across as 'I am aware that people are saying I am causing problems. I do not want to be the trouble maker so MY HUSBAND and I have decided to fix the problem by doing the following...."

You should have your children with you. There is the possibility that you do things that hit this person’s emotional triggers. You may not know that they have triggers. Your children may be able to help shed some light. But, including your children also helps empower them and make them part of your family.

Relationships & Marriage

A woman just asked: My husband and I don't fight. We have problems but we just work them out on our own. Is this bad?


My reply:

You are right. If you don't learn how to handle your problems, talk to each other, and deal with situations, he will just walk in one day and say 'I can't handle it.' He will pack a bag and walk out. That will be it. That is what happened to me. It was such a shock. On Tuesday I was 'suburban wife - normal - stereotype' and on Thursday I was looking for a place to live.

I am married to a great guy now. He is a great father. (guy #1 is so full of bitterness and anger that 10 years later he can't visit the kids more than 2 or 3 times a year.) But we sometimes fight light cats and dogs, even screaming at each other. We learned the 'art of letting it out' at marriage counseling.

The important thing to learn is how to have an argument, both of you air your grievances, and then learn how to make a compromise - or else come to a way that ends the argument that you both can live with. Sometimes my hubby just has the final words. Sometimes he thinks for a week or two - and then has the final word which is surprisingly similar to what I wanted to do :)

But, you need help. There are small things you need to learn how to do first, like sit and talk about nothing for an hour. You need to learn how to talk about your 'feelings' without the other person feeling that you are attacking them - or thinking that the purpose is to make them 'feel good.'

You also need to learn how to date, court each other. If you can't fight, then the rest is 'not working' even if you believe it is.

The problem in my first marriage is that neither of us knew what a healthy relationship should look like. We created what we thought was one, and in our defense, we thought we did right. But, we were both brought up on sitcoms where the good families always got along. This is unrealistic.

You also need to learn to build boundaries to the fights. There are things you can say/do, and things you can't. Like, you cannot bring up things that happen more than 24 hours previous. A fight needs to be focused. Or, you cannot say things like 'you are stupid, just like your dad.'

I did go to marriage training, and I read books, and we discussed different theories. Sometimes you need to take baby steps. You can't force your husband to change. This can be hard. But, if YOU fix your own part in the marriage, then he will naturally 'go with the flow.'

For example, if you learn how to speak his 'love language' and make him feel wanted, then he will feel less threatened and will open up and talk. Then, you can take another baby step. The more you learn, and the healthier you behave, the easier it will become.